Momma
They tell me I was just six months old when I went to live with her on the island of St. Kitts. My dad’s mom became the first “mother” I really ever knew. Times were hard in those days. I was born on the island of St. Thomas, but things never worked out between my mom and dad and while she stayed in St Thomas, my dad moved to New York City. Neither one had the finances or space to really take care of me, both in their early 20’s so it was decided that I should be sent to St. Kitts and be raised there. My mom’s mother was a mere few miles away on the island of Nevis, but she was already caring for my mother’s other [older] son and things were hard there too
My earliest recollections of her was that she was a very strict woman. As a child, it never occurred to me she was a “white” woman whom later in my life I found out was the child of a Portuguese immigrant to the island of St. Kitts who carried the name of his Portuguese home district of Gouveia as the Portuguese and Spaniards were prone to do. That name was mangled in St. Kitts and became Deguire.
I was a very disgusting child, one who had a hard time listening to her instructions. After all, I was the only child in the house so it was difficult to dream up or new and exciting things to do with myself each day so the street always beckoned my name. Each day, knowing the risk I was taking with her, I would dig a hole under the barb wire fence that surrounded our modest home and relish the green grass of freedom. Off I would go to play with the kids in the neighborhood until my joy would be tempered with the clarion call of a familiar voice - my grandmother’s. She would stand in the middle of the street and call out my name. Knowing I would get my ass torn up right there in the middle of Molineaux Site, St. Kitts, I would run through neighboring yards and then climb back under the fence and pretend I was somewhere in the yard all along. Of course that never worked so I got a beating everyday.
Don’t know what it is about West Indian grandmothers though. My grandmother actually had an invisible line of demarcation in her house I was not to cross. It separated the kitchen from the small living room area. I can remember there sat this glass wall unit. As a little kid it seemed like it was 100 feet tall and it was filled with china and pictures and on the top shelf was a toy rocket ship my mom sent for me For some odd reason momma thought I was too young to play with it or not deserving enough to play with it. For years I would stand behind that invisible line and watch it and never cross it to meddle with it. I would have taken my life into my hands if I ever crossed that line. In recent years I have gone back to St. Kitts and the 5 foot unit that I tower over today still sits there, but my spaceship is no longer inside. No one knows whatever happened to it.
Like just about any West Indian grandmother in those days, she raised me in church. Back in those days we had no television so I was few a steady daily diet of Gospel radio, most of the programming beamed in from the southern United States. For those first 8 years of my life I was thoroughly indoctrinated with Christian doctrine as her radio stayed on Gospel programming day and night. Obviously from reading around my blogs I’ve since gone pass those little fantasies I once held.
Despite it all, I would never trade my childhood with her. It was country life, a simple life. Beautiful starry nights with moonlight glistening on the Caribbean Sea. Hikes into the hills nearby or down in the water gullies with my uncles. I recall going into the fields with her to pick peas or dig for potatoes and sitting at the edge of a nearby canefield under a tree scratching dandruff out of her jet black wavy hair. She really loved that. She also made a wicked cup of tea, something I had every night before I went to bed. I do also recall a few times she nursed me back from near death with things like the whooping cough. I’m sure there were other moments I was to young to remember. Needless to say, I owe who I am today to her in great part.
Was sad to see her pain in 1994 when her youngest son was violently killed in a hail of gunfire while doing his job as a leading police investigator. The story made international news because of the man behind the hit who happened to be an FBI’s Most Wanted. He was an uncle who helped her to raise me. My first child, a son, I named after him. Then she lost her oldest son to cancer a few years later. Sad thing was, from that time forward she steadily began to lose her memory. I personally feel it came about as a defense to block out reality because I do not know many more stronger people that my grandmother.
Today is July 6th, 2007. It is my birthday. I’ve made it this far with occasional memories of my early days lost in the lush greenery of interior St. Kitts. The years have not dissolved my love for that island or the love for my grandmother. This morning before I rose up to realize I just lived another year, momma passed away at age 94.
06 Jul 2007 twentyfourseven 1 comment










